I know I have to Grow Up.

So much happened this Christmas as far as conversations go. But one statement made by my sister concerned me the most. My little sister (not the eleven year old) was so focused on having to make the decision to grow up. "I know I have to grow up, I just don't want to yet." This was a constant theme and I feel obliged to address it the best way I know how.

I don't understand the obsession in this culture or others, the REQUIREMENT to grow up. I think growing up is a gradual progression, one that cannot be forced. In this country and in Ecuador, where my family has it's other roots, we don't have rites of passages to grow up like they do in many other cultures. We have the opportunity to discover where our lives take us. We can experience so much and then grow into compassionate and wiser adults. We don't have to jump into a career, we can discover our passions and let them direct our paths.

Many people may think that I'm the misguided one as I AM 31 years old and I am not necessarily dedicated to one career path, or that I'm not married or that I don't have children. I haven't led a reckless life of drugs, or alcohol or partying, I just have taken my time to find out what I want. When I was eighteen years old, I wanted to be a teacher. At nineteen, an actress. I discovered a camera when I was twenty. For the past 11 years that camera has allowed me to find myself, and what I find is that I will forever be finding myself. I am confident of the person that I am, but I am also confident that I will always be changing and developing into a new person. I'm not afraid of those changes, I embrace whatever comes my way because it will only allow me to continue to find within myself that which I wasn't aware existed before.

I have drifted in and out of part-time jobs, but I have continually discovered what I want out of life, and what I want consistently changes. That makes me sound indecisive, but I will add that I have maintained the same job for the past four years and within that job I have been able to continually grow and adapt my work to how I change as a person. As people, we change as life happens and I think I've been considerably open to where my path takes me. Of course I've had some set backs and unfortunate roadblocks, but I haven't been too deterred from accomplishing what I want out of life. I also believe that for as long as I live, there will always be new things that I want to accomplish. Life shouldn't stagnate because we have gained a college education, , or a secure career; or because we got married, or had children. It should always be a work in progress.

Growing up isn't a decision we just randomly make because it seems like the appropriate time to do it. It just happens. I'm 31. I don't consider myself a grown up and I don't think that I ever will because I understand that learning is a constant. Gaining experience is a constant. I'm going to always strive for my goals, but at the same time I'm not going to let a milestone in my life, like graduating from college, dictate my path.

I know I've posted Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken before, but I post it again as a reminder to myself and to those that may feel that the risks are too high to take on the adventure of life.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. 15 I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

Alicia, I encourage you to do what your heart tells you to do. I believe that your life has many adventures ahead, and if career is the adventure you take, then perhaps, that is your road less traveled. I love you.