What is Love?

If any of you have read my blog recently, you have noticed that I installed an application called, "Quote of the Day." And what do you know, I get to see a new enlightening quote every day.  It's nice to read what others think about certain things and today's was about love.  Because I won't post this in an e-mail until tomorrow, this is the quote for Thursday, February 19th, 2009.

Authentic love always assumes the mystery of modesty, even in its expression, because actions speak louder than words.  Unlike feigned love, it feels no need to set a conflagration.

-Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)

I couldn't agree with those words more.  With Valentine's Day behind us, I agree with the quote even more.  Why is it we find that we must express our love with an overindulgence of flowers, chocolates, romantic dinners, teddy bears and the rest of that mushy-gushy stuff that doesn't make any sense.  Why do we need a day to express our love towards another? If your love is true, then it shouldn't have to be shown in these elaborate displays.  These material things mean nothing.  When the person I love puts his hand in mine, that is the love I know to be true.  Real love is when the other cares about the well-being of another, when that person recognizes when the other needs to be alone, when that person provides warmth by taking the person he or she loves when the blanket isn't enough.  The simplicity of an unexpected kiss is all one really needs.

Today at work, this boy in Customer Service told us how he spent so much on his girlfriend on Valentine's Day and Christmas.  He was talking about his one-year anniversary and how he had to top those other occasions.  Reava and I told him to keep it simple.  I said, if you have to buy her flowers, just buy her one single rose to symbolize your year together, and then tell her how much she means to you.  He argued that he was going to buy her diamond earrings and flowers and this and that, la de da!  We told him, if you give too much, then she'll always expect too much and won't recognize your true feelings for her.  After that, the love is gone and she will take advantage of you.  

When I was 22, my boyfriend Jamie would always buy me things.  I tell everyone I meet that I don't want flowers, I don't want silly gifts.  I came home one day after working a VERY long shift at Worlds of Fun and my Aunt Judy and Uncle Matt were in town. They both had these mischevious grins on their faces, like something was up.  As I looked around the room, I saw it.  A stuffed teddy bear with roses and a card from Jamie. My Uncle Matt teased, somebody really loves you.  I don't know how many times I had told Jamie that I didn't like those types of things and he still went and did it anyway.   I don't want those things, I don't expect much in the area of gifts. All I expect is to feel respected.  And that's all I feel is necessary to give in return.  Teddy Bears and cutesy stuff like that are generic. They aren't things that I need or even want.  If spending your money on me is what you want to do, I have a credit card bill that could afford to be paid off.  It's all about respect for me and in all forms.  

So, loving somebody isn't all about the show.  Just remind the person you love that you do love them, by doing the little things.