T.M.I...Really?

Last night I went out to the Czar Bar with my friends Mark and Sarah.  Two of the bands playing were a Joy Division (Unknown Pleasures) cover band and a Misfits (Bloodfeast) cover band. It was  a lot of fun, but Sarah and her friend left after the Misfits tribute because Sarah gets tired easily now because of her pregnancy.  So Mark and I stayed and instead of listening to the band,  we had a really good conversation. We talked about this blog and how he gets it through Reader when I post them.  I asked him his opinion and all he said was, "TMI (too much information)"  And here's the thing about Reader on Gmail, it posts all of my blogs even if they are drafts and I choose not to make them public.  I've reread some of the public blogs and I don't think they delve too deeply into my personal life.  The only one may be my Agent "J" blog.  Sorry about that Mark! But I told him, that this blog is my therapy, my outlet to explore my feelings and thoughts.  I make it public because you never know who may benefit from the things going on in your brain.  I told him that he didn't HAVE to read them.  He said he did have to and he did read them anytime I posted them.  I guess being that I consider Mark to be my Best Friend, I appreciate the fact that he wants to read about my thoughts.  Maybe he's right, maybe there is too much, but I find it so healing to write.  I'm not very open with people about what's going on in my head, but this helps me find a way to discuss them in  a public way that is comfortable to me.  I don't always know who reads my blogs because not everyone comments, but it's not that important.  After I've written them, I'm pretty much done unless I'm wanting to make a statement like in "Culture Shock," and "Culture & Globalization." 

I think my blogs have made me more open and more able to express my opinions.  I haven't had an in depth conversation with Mark in quite some time. I believe those conversations are reserved for Sarah now and I completely respect that.  But it was good to know that Mark and I can still hang out, have a good time, and share our worries and thoughts.  I value our friendship so much and it's a relief that he is still supportive of my healing and my determination to tackle my depression.  I won't discuss what he said as it is not my place to discuss his issues and concerns. But we talked a little about my gratitude towards Jason to end things with me. I told Mark that, his decision to do that was probably the best support I could have received from him.  In hindsight I see that I don't need anybody to hold my hand to make me feel whole.  If I were to do that,  I would feel indebted to him or her, and that's not something I want in my life.  Mark, Sarah and Ashley are  the three people I hold closest to me and they didn't hold my hand. They stressed that I had to figure this thing out on my own, that I had to fix myself before I could try to attempt a relationship with anybody.  That's the best support one can receive. They love me as I love them and they helped me recognize that this depression is mine and that I'm the one who has to battle it.  The battle is half over, and I WILL TRIUMPH!!!!!!

Was that TMI Mark?  Love to all!