The Alchemist

I just read my last blog and I mentioned "The Alchemist."  I recently wrote a letter about it and thought I'd post it here.  I'll change the names for anonymity.  "This may seem kind of repetitive for those of you that have been reading regularly)

Dear Balthazar,

I have a blog and before I left for France I wrote an entry describing my feelings about going.  To make a long story short, I didn't want to go anymore.  I knew that everything I wanted was here in KC.  I convinced myself though that I HAD to go to France so that I wouldn't regret anything I'd done in this life.  I was miserable in France and I decided to come home.  First though, I decided to go on a mini-tour of Central Europe.  My trip to Poland made my venture to Europe worthwhile a thousand times over.  On my last evening in Krakow I went out with a guy from Panama, who I had met at my hostel.  I told him that I had gone to France while knowing the whole time that I was supposed to have stayed in Kansas City.  I told him that I just "felt right" in this one place, like I was supposed to be there. I told him that I knew it all along, this was the place where I would become successful, find a life, find love, build a home, create lasting friendships.  Sometimes it takes a nagging within us to search high and low for these things, even if it takes us far from where we should have been all along.  He told me about "The Alchemist." I'm no dummy, of course I knew about Paulo Coehlo's novel.  He told me I had to read it because I knew where my treasure was and that for some reason I was trying to find it in all the wrong places  When I got back to Paris, I bought it.  I didn't need to read this book to know what I was supposed to do.  I just needed it to reiterate to myself that my feelings were normal.  I was in Paris, one of the greatest cities in the world, and I knew, like I knew before I left, that I belong in Kansas City.  I went against my gut instinct, spent a TON of money, just to end up where I knew I should be.  

That's why sometimes I think it's worth the struggle to seek what you know to be true, even if it means staying persistent in the face of doubt.   You and Desdemona were friends before you made the transition to dating.  Many say this is the best way to find a lover, and when it doesn't work out, it's easier to go back to being friends.  It seems as though you would like to be friends, but have given up because it appears that she doesn't want to.  That's just right now.  We all know that it takes time to reflect.  We all know that the transition from friend to lover changes the dynamic of that relationship. Going back to friendship can take time. That's why I think it's almost easier to become friends with ex's that you weren't friends with before.  Your future friendship with her is possible. You said it's possible for Prospero and I to be friends even though we were never that before.  I always feel that people come into your life for a reason, and some more so than others.  I have a weird feeling, kind of like my France feeling and I'm just not willing anymore to go against my gut instinct.

I didn't need to read "The Alchemist to understand this.  I just had to read it to know that in life all things are possible if you believe in it. 

Just some thoughts from Therapist Cap't Coco...Peace!