Live in the Now

I have been laying here in bed with the intent of writing about something. I just got back from spending a full three days with my family in Florida.  That should be impetus enough to write about something as something monumental always happens. My family is erratic and our goals and ambitions in life are so different. Usually these moments receive a lot of reflection on my part. Our moments together are generally highly stressed and tense, and this time more than usual.  Maybe it's no wonder that I have nothing to relate today.

My first day back has been busy, but I think the left over stress of family time has left me hostile and volatile. Not only have I been in a bad mood today, I just don't have the patience to deal with people.

I wrote my last blog about two weeks ago.  These couple of weeks have been great, reconciliation is on the upswing in Coco's life. And for that I could not be more grateful. But at the same time, I have lost a friend that I'm not sure I can trust again. I've been carefree without this person, but at the same time I think about all the good things that he offered. The only problem is that I am unwilling to cave based on my principles. I am worthy of being treated in the way that I deserve.  There are things that I am not willing to relent on. I believe I deserve an apology. If it doesn't happen, I'm guessing the friendship may not be restored... which sucks because I really do value this person. If only he could value me as more than just an object. I am a person who deserves to be respected.  My only objective in this scenario is to remain steadfast in my values because I'm worth it.  

And about being patient, I have to be just that. I keep telling myself that I can be, but it's so hard when what you really want is not readily available. Sometimes only nurture, comfort and compassion can ready what we seek in life.  I guess I just have to continue living in the now providing diligence and comfort.  I cannot make things happen in an instant. I believe very much in being able to will the things you want out of life into being, but sometimes it takes patience. One must remain positive and when the person, place, or thing dilly-dallies or has to figure things out for him/her/itself, then that is the only thing that can be done. Remain positive, remain patient, continue living the adventure of life.  If one stops completely just waiting around, then life can pass by too quickly.  When we set our minds to accomplishing what we strive for, then those things will happen. We must remain steadfast, but we also must remember to live.

I hope to follow this as closely as I can. I can, and I will. Fingers crossed.