Four Weddings and a Quinceaniera

Okay, so it's only two weddings so far, but it just didn't flow.  

Sometimes I wonder why exactly do I want to quit Hy-Vee?  I'm so good at what I do.  But on the other hand, I feel like I should get a "real" job, but the real job that I was offered paid less than the job that I have now.  I manage a One Hour Photo Department at a grocery store in Independence.  It's not a glamorous job, I have to wear a white shirt everyday with dress pants, but for the most part I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile.  In addition, I get a lot of extra side work to do, ie: wedding photography, band photography, ad design, and now photo restoration.  And I love doing all these things.  When I told my friend Justin about my interviews and my job offer, he said he couldn't see me doing those things.  When I asked what he saw me doing, he said something in media, or film, or photography. A few months ago when I told Jason that I really wished I could do photography, he told me that it would probably be just something I do on the side.  Hm...now that I do all these things, I think there is more room for me to be working in media somehow.  But at the same time, I feel like I should be writing.  Last night, Jason told me I should get a job at the Kansas City Star, I laughed it off and said "doing what? Writing?" Maybe I'm supposed to do both things. 

One of my favorite books is "The Alchemist," and when I was in Poland I had a conversation with this guy Victor, from Panama.  I told him, I came to France thinking that what I wanted was in a foreign country, but before I left all I could think about was how what I really wanted was right at home in Kansas City.  He asked me if I had read the book and being that I never had, he told me I had to read it right away.  I got back to Paris, went to the American-English bookstore and read it that day.  The general theme of the book is that sometimes the things we desire the most are right where we left them while we went in search for them.  I want to do photography in some form or another.  I contacted this commercial printing place in Kansas City to inquire about doing some training or an apprenticeship. I believe that my place in the world is in photography in some shape or form.  But at the same time I believe that I should be in a position that allows me to become a part of my community.  I'm torn sometimes regarding my position in the world, but its here, in KC. That much I know. There are three avenues I can pursue, and I don't see why I can't do them all.

Oh...the confusion of it all. This just made me analyze things too much. I'll figure it out later.