Today, every meeting or conversaton I had led to the tragic events that transpired after the rally. My daughter and I went with one of my longtime friends, The Westy, and his kids. We had parked on the westside of the highway at a local church. After the celebration, we walked west on Pershing and turned left onto West Pennway. All of a sudden, my phone started blowing up with, "are you all okay?"
At first I was confused because the rally had JUST ended, how could they expect us to be home already?
According to KCPD shots were fired at 2:00 pm and Ashley (Westy's wife) texted at 2:03 pm. I saw the text when we turned the corner at West Pennway and responded right away. My cell phone recorded it 7 minutes later at 2:10 pm. What that means is that we were likely near the shooting when it happened, but we didn't hear anything. We made note of all the ambulances coming into the area at the time, but brushed it off, thinking it was for all the people who may have consumed too many adult beverages.
However, that was not the case - in that 7 minute time frame, a life was coming to an end and 22 people had been either hit by the gunfire or harmed because of the mass rush exiting the area.
When we were in the car a short time later, Ashley called to let us know what had happened. I don't know about Westy, but the severity, even though I was reading the news as it came in, did not phase me. In fact, it did not phase me until my 7 am meeting when the entire discussion focused on it. 48 hours later and I'm still not in the same headspace as a large majority of people. I'm saddened and outraged for sure, but something happened to me that has made me think about the events differently.
Of course, all the news and media outlets are focusing on gun control, pointing fingers, inciting outrage. I believe there should be more regulation on firearms, absolutely. No question whatsoever, but I want us to focus on the good too.
All I can think about is how happy I was that day. The energy that day vastly overwhelmed the violence that ensued. If you've known me for some time, you know that I have thrived on being a sportsball "hater." I would make fun of the excitement surrounding these things, thinking myself better than all these "fans." This past year I have been doing things outside my comfort zone; doing things that other people love. What I've found is that it is invigorating to be a part of a group that thrives on positivity.
It's that positivity, that surge of loving energy that overwhelms the negative. Of course, that doesn't mean we don't lament the loss and the ensuing grief. What it means is that we let love infuse our lives, not fear.
Had this parade happened two years ago I would have been outraged (when it happened in 2020 I was outraged) and complained about how it took me away from work. Work? Com'on! Work will always be there. Five months ago I would have found a way to leave my daughter with someone so I could make time to be with a "love interest" at the festivities. But instead my only thought was on spending time with my daughter. My time with her is fleeting.
My thoughts meander to my daughter's smiling face as she jumped and danced while having a blast with her friends. Even though her persistent hanging on me was annoying, I wouldn't give it up for a moment. I cherish the pervasive images of holding her in my arms as she squeezed her arms around my neck while barraging my cheeks with adoring kisses.
I reflected yesterday during my 7 am meeting when it came to me and said, you know, if I were the one who would have lost my life yesterday, I would be okay with it because I got to spend those last moments completely in love with my child. There would be no better parting gift as I was welcomed home into the arms of my Savior. Thinking on those moments during those 4 hours of standing around is the memory I will hold onto most fiercely. I will not let fear overshadow the abundant love poured out by us and all those around us.
If it wasn't for my noon group and the decisions I made a little over a year ago, choosing this fierce love would have never happened.
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