My Favorite Book

By now, frequent readers of my blog know all too well that my favorite book is Paulo Coehlo's "The Alchemist." I give this book to people that are important in my life and who I want to give a part of myself to.

Two and a half years ago, I was in a tiny apartment in Paris, depressed, amid a sea of down blankets, looking out the window with frequency, telling myself to get up! I didn't know what I was doing in that country. I should have been out exploring, but I just wanted to be alone, away from the world. I spent about a week in the apartment before I decided to venture out. I didn't just go out and roam around Paris, I took a trip to Vienna, Prague and Krakow. I  bought an airline ticket to Vienna, paid for by the lovely people at Visa, and let the rest of the trip work itself out,  I arrived in Vienna and as the plane taxied, I realized, I had no idea even what language they spoke in this Central European country. I generally take great pride in the fact that I am a good traveler, I am not that dumb American. But here I was, grabbing my bag at an airport in the middle of a city where I didn't know the language. Gasp! I looked at the signs and figured out what language was spoken, and only words in German I could muster were: Guten tag & Das Boot! Agh, I was in for it for sure. Luckily, every person in the world speaks English and getting around was easier than walking barefoot through a wading pool!

But I was miserable in Vienna, I went for a super long walk until I found the tourist attractions. All the happy people taking pictures in the rain, motivated me to go back to my hostel to be alone. I stopped at what would equate as a Mom and Pop diner in a less touristy part of town and had some dinner while the rain subsided. The owner gave me two HUGE beers (one free) and asked me why the hell I would be traveling alone in Central Europe. My response was simple, "I always travel alone." In the midst of my depressive mood, I thought that I would probably always be alone. I was 30 years old, why had I believed that I would ever find a person or persons to share my life and experiences with. After spending a few hours drinking beer with my new Austrian friend, who gave me excellent tourist advice and things to see, I decided to walk back to my hostel, in the rain, which in hindsight was a perfect reflection of my state of being at that time.

Fortunately I met other travelers and ended up with a travel partner to go with me to Prague and Krakow. I wasn't all that impressed with Prague, but in Krakow, my life changed. I met a guy by the name of Victor and we enjoyed the city as though we belonged there. We became a part of the culture and the life that existed in this small city that had a turbulent and tragic past.  There was a sort of magic that danced with us as we ran through the cold streets of Krakow. I didn't want to leave after 3 fantastic days of discovering life, but the morning came when I had to return the Vienna to catch a flight back to Paris. I don't remember much of what we spoke of, other than our lives being attached to something greater and that there are signs that show us which way our lives are supposed to go. He was the second person to recommend that I read "The Alchemist." I left my new friend, who I have only spoken to once since then, with happiness in my heart.

Back in Paris, I relented myself to my apartment and sea of down blankets for a couple of days before I decided to venture out onto the busy streets of Paris. I ended up in the Latin Quarter at Shakespeare's Bookstore and I found the book he had recommended and took it home with me. The next day I ended up taking a train to Versailles and roamed around the gardens for several hours. I brought my book along with a a jar of Nutella, and became immersed in the journey of a boy by the name of Santiago...

I immediately related to this book and realized that I too had been on a path, but I had no idea where that path was headed. I wanted so much to be this brave girl in the world, but was terrified of actually embarking on it. So, I came home to the USA and decided to take on this journey of finding my Personal Legend. Like Santiago, I have had set backs and heart-wrenching experiences. I have also learned a great deal about people and how I am really a part of this life and the people in it.

Last night, our AfterHours Service at church came to a "pause." Pastor Joe was upset because this was a service that he had been wanting to do for years and he felt like he had failed his dream.  I don't believe he failed at all, in fact I think he opened a new chapter. I don't believe this is the end of AfterHours, but a beginning to what it can truly be. The path is full of lessons and setbacks, but if he really believes in this service, it'll come to fruition again and the way he has envisioned it. (I mean, I really thought we should sit in a circle and hum... but it isn't my dream! Definitely one I want to help bring to fruition for though) But Joe's presence and love for this service has also opened a chapter in my life and my call to ministry.  Last night he spoke about baptism and how Jesus' baptism by John was His way of becoming a part of humanity. Joe had us wash our hands in the baptismal water, and when I did, I finally felt the ultimate calling. As I looked up at the cross, I made a vow to God, to forever be his disciple and his student. I was baptized as a baby, like many, but at that moment I felt like I had been on this path all along.

There are many things that have happened since last December (2009) when Paul first put "Living Buddha, Living Christ," in my hands. I had been going to church, trying to be spiritual, trying to understand what my role in the world is. This book made Jesus human, more personal than He had ever been to me. I realized then, that because of Christ, I am able to have such passion in my life, which I have also come to understand makes me more susceptible to agony. The agony I felt when my friendship with Paul ended, made me want to be more practical in life, made me search for stability. The whirlwind of passion was too intolerable, and I needed a reprieve from it. I did all that practicality requires, but was again unsatisfied because I feel deeply and want to connect with people on a higher plane than what was right in front of me. I went to a concert this past December 9th, and being able to connect with friends on this crazy spiritual level again was awesome. I told a friend of mine later, that I was completely blissed out, just so happy at that moment being in this loud bar listening to music I'd never heard. Since that night, I have felt love so deeply in my heart and I knew how close I was and am to my Personal Legend. Life is about relationships, and my spiritual and human relationship to Jesus made me realize this. The path is about taking risks, and during the past year, I have become that brave girl in the world, who isn't terrified anymore about embarking on this roller-coaster life! I have let the Spirit guide me, and I have remembered to incorporate the humanity of Jesus into my living.

Thanks to Joe and his insistence to renew our baptism I know where my path leads. I am a disciple of Jesus... and I will be forever. Through Him, my life, which has been so great the past few months, will only get better.
Because "when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."