Overpollenation

"The winter was so hard that the trees and plants feel like everything has died, so they overpollenate."  i don't know how true that statement is, but I'm going to believe every word of it. It makes sense and it would definitely explain why after about 5 years of not having allergy problems, why I have them this year.

Tomorrow is May and this year has so far has been kind of tough. Broken heart, broken spirit, broken will. But like the trees, I feel that life must continue, I must pollinate again and come back stronger than ever.  I will conquer all the obstacles along my way.  I will make amends with my past.  I will triumph!

For those of you that have followed this blog, know that I try so hard to be positive. I did a little backsliding back in February, but over the past couple of months, I feel I have made my way back to the person that I want to be and who I know I am. I have come to the realization, that no, I am not a very social person, but I love the people who come into my life with great passion.  Sometimes I can love a little too much, but you know, it's okay, it's all a learning experience.  What I've learned most is that to do what I want with my life, does not require me to be a social butterfly, nor accepted by everyone I come into contact with. I like who I am and I intend on using whatever gifts I may have to do what I want. 

With that being said, I've become very confident behind the lens of a camera and have started pushing myself into the career of photography and design. It is something that I have always wanted to do, but never had enough confidence to try.  I know what I want and even if I'm not the best, it doesn't matter, I will be persistent with it. I don't think vanquishing my interest as just a hobby is what I'm meant to do. There's a real possibility to make it mine, to make it what I do. I realized this yesterday when I was asked why I didn't come work for our corporate headquarters. I was flattered beyond belief and realized, I can do whatever I want.  I've been patient with myself. I've taken the long road to get to know who I am. Often I have thought that things were too tough, that I would be destined for a life of mediocrity.

But mediocrity is a dead world and I intend on overpollenating (not in the sense of overworking myself) that deadness that I thought was there.