Lovey Dovey Day on the Way... ICK!

Okay, so I am a victim of the VH-1's show Tough Love.  I don't watch it regularly, but sometimes I indulge myself  The basic concept of the show is to bring about ten girls together and show them what they are doing wrong when it comes to dating and attracting men.  Seems kind of like cruel and unusual punishment to put oneself through, but there are some deep psychological issues that are touched on.  The last episode I saw resonated with me.  The girls met three women over the age of sixty who had never been married and had made terrible mistakes during their "dating" years.

This will be my 31st year as a single girl on Valentine's Day.  Many people will write off V-Day as cliche and say they don't celebrate it.  I call bullshit on all of you coupled people that say that.  My best friend and her ex-boyfriend, would claim that they didn't do anything, and thought it was stupid. HOWEVER, they ALWAYS got something for each other and hung out together and were super mushy towards each other. So, BS, BS, BS!!!!

I'm beginning to think that I will be that sixty year old woman who has never found love because I tend to fuck up every relationship I have been in.  It's not even screwing up the ones I'm in, it's the type of man that I gravitate to. The emotionally unavailable, the completely unavailable, or the wrong personality. And the worst part, is that I don't seem to make connections with many men.  After every disappointment I turn to my very good friend Mark and try to figure out what I've done wrong this time.  Why aren't these men attracted to me?  I'm pretty nice looking, I'm friendly, I am pretty smart, I have a sense of humor, I LIKE STAR WARS, and good music. So what's the problem?  Here's the answer I get from everyone: It'll happen when it's supposed to happen. But those women on Tough Love made me think, it really might NOT happen.  And you know what? I'm okay with it because I am happy.  I'm not willing to just settle for mediocrity.  I know myself, and if I am going to have a life partner, then I need to make sure that person compliments me well.  I would love to welcome someone into my life to share it with, but I have to make sure that person is up for complimenting each other rather than just making the other happy.  My goal is to go beyond the look of someone, (which I have done as I've tended to date a variety of different "looks," when it comes to the face, I don't discriminate) to look into the soul and mind of that person, and somebody that can do the same with me.  We must embrace each other's minds above anything else.

So this Valentine's Day I celebrate the love I have towards myself, all the hard work I've put into making myself happy.  If someone would like to enhance my life, and I theirs, then I welcome it.  Gassho!

Peace friends!