I've been thinking a lot lately about the significance of bringing another life into this chaotic and often turbulent world. Sometimes I think that there are FAR too many people living on the planet and that sometimes life throws you some nasty ordeals. The past year of my life has seen its moments of pure hell, but in the long run it has come out pretty decent. For the past five months I have been the most happy and full-filled that I have ever been.
My Father and I are friends and for the first time I feel I can turn to him for advice. I honestly believe that wisdom is gained through life experience. My father and I have been through some tough times together in our past, but I think with the ending of our relationships around the same time has allowed us to grow close to one another. I know that my Dad loved my Mom, but it was a relationship that couldn't grow anymore. Through him, I understand now that love should always continue to grow and should never stagnate. I really dislike the saying, "the honeymoon is over." If a relationship is supposed to grow in love, then everyday should be a honeymoon. It should be a gift to be treasured always.
About five years ago, my ex-boyfriend Graham and I laid in my bed in the middle of the afternoon reading to each other and he told me a story about a man and woman who had been living their lives independently and came together at a time when they ready to meet. Their lives had prepared them for each other and when they met it was meant to be. All their past experiences culminated into a life where the two of them were meant to be together. The story ended with them dying within hours of each other in old age because they were soul mates. As I rested my head on his shoulder, he told me that he felt that was us. I, all too eager to hear those words felt like this was it for me. But when Graham dropped the line, "the honeymoon is over," I knew he no longer felt that way. I knew it was over and I tried desperately to hang on and make it true again. But our experiences, however much they influenced us up to our meeting began to diverge midway through our relationship. The talking ended, our dreams abandoned, both of us consumed by the demands of our everyday lives. Where we went wrong was when we no longer continued building a life that grew in love and sharing our troubles and achievements. We became stagnant. I think Graham wanted to continue growing in his life as did I, but together it couldn't happen. I miss Graham and think about him almost everyday.
Like everyone in my life, he has had a great impact on my life. And most definitely a very profound one. Because of him, I strove to continue making goals for myself and living up to them. I wasn't intent on living a mediocre life. I wanted to learn Arabic, I went to Egypt to do it. I may have let that dream go by the wayside, but in the long run I learned something more important than mastering a language, I learned to keep living my life to its fullest. Everyone has different goals for their lives and sometimes they are diverted not for the worse, but to enhance our lives with new experiences. I'm so glad I went to Egypt and it is something I will keep with me forever as one of the best times of my life. In a way, the trip made me realize how I am actually full-filled in my life regardless of how mundane it may seem to others. So, I don't want to be politician or a teacher. I just want to live well, and happy. And that's what I'm doing.
Joe died over a year ago now and I think of how his parents must feel to have lost their child at such a young age. My friend Christi told me about a friend of hers who lost her son when he was only seven years old. Tragedies unfortunately happen in life, but I don't think it should deter us from continuing to bring love into the world. I think taking a risk in love is important to the human spirit.
Sarah and Mark have brought another human into this world and there are many experiences of joy and unfortunately disappointments they will encounter together while raising their son. But I think through their continued love for each other, they will be exemplars of the power of love. I hope they don't allow the honeymoon to end. I hope their joint boundless love for their new son will allow them to grow together and to continue to gain wisdom. I think already they have a lot to offer Gunnar. I am so excited for them and I pray that they will always demonstrate their unending love for him.
Congrats Mark & Sarah! I think you will be awesome parents.
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