Earlier today I talked to my friend Jason and he told me that he had an argument with a friend of his. I won't go into details, as I don't really know them all, but I know it ended with his friend saying, "you know, the world doesn't revolve around you." Jason's response was, "I know, but it kind of does because the actions that I take in my life directly affect me and others around me." I'm not sure if he said this exactly like that, but to me it's a pretty wise statement.
I was just checking my facebook account and a friend of mine wrote a "note" that stated that everybody is out for themselves. It was a rather disconnected and stilted note, but the gist of it was that we have to look out for number one. Some would argue that we should really keep in mind those around us. And I agree for the most part with that, but in all reality the only people that we can change are ourselves. I had a boyfriend about 4 years ago who I really wanted to stop smoking marijuana. I would argue with him that I didn't want him to do it. The decision he made to smoke had nothing to do for me and there was nothing in this world that I could do to make him stop. If he wanted to stop, the change would have to come from him. I don't know if he still smokes, but I hope not. Nothing I can do about it though.
And you know that show "Intervention?" I think trying to get somebody to stop abusing their bodies with drugs and alcohol is a very noble act...but! (disconjointed sentence, sorry) the will to stop using comes from within. My mother used to be a heavy smoker and we all used to scorn her for it. She quit when I was about 15 years old and didn't tell anybody. It took us all about 2 or 3 months to figure out that she had stopped. This was something she wanted, and she did it. Change comes from within.
Today after I read my friend's note, I wrote back to him:
"When it comes right down to it, you must always look out for yourself. The only things you can change about life, are the things about you. You can't change others and they can't change you. Change comes from within. If you want to set a goal for yourself, only you can make the goal a reality. Kind of like you said..." "'...the world does revolve around me because my actions affect my world.' Pretty cool huh? So, we are basically our own little solar systems and we have to make decisions for ourselves and see what happens from there. I'd say the one thing that matters most after we look after ourselves is whether we affect others. Do our actions create consequences for others? I think when we do take action with our lives, we should make sure they are wise ones for ourselves and take into consideration whether they will have a negative or positive impact on those around us. I think most of the time we should do things that don't hurt others. Unfortunately we are human, and therefore fallible. We make mistakes and sometimes we hurt others. I think most of the time, our hurting is often caused by mistakes. Those that intentionally hurt others should be loosed from our lives if we want to live healthy lives."
So, thank you to Jason and thank you to Paul for your wisdom in assisting me to learn a little bit more today. The world does revolve around each of us. We only have the power to change ourselves. I guess that's what the Serenity Prayer is all about. I'll add it here for effect:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Enjoy! And AMEN!!!!
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